I'm getting deep, here, people

I was holding my baby tonight. giving him his bottle and staring at his general awesomeness.

**Not too brag, but this kid is pretty awesome**

I was reveling in his big blue eyes and the milk drippings on his chin.  The way his thermal jammies fit so perfectly snug on his pudgy little thighs.  I had Christmas music playing softly from the computer (yes, I am already listening to Christmas music, so sue me) and then the song "Mary Did You Know?" (this version right here) came on.

It hit me.  This is what Mary did all those years ago.  She held the tiny infant Christ in her arms, fed him, giggled at the milk mustache above his lips.  She marveled at his beauty and his perfectness.  I am sure that she too was sometimes overcome with the responsibility that was in in her lap: to raise a perfect little spirit in this imperfect world (although she had waaay more pressure there).  She probably uttered many prayers under her breath or silently in her head to please, please let her succeed.  Please give her strength and knowledge beyond her current capabilities.  Let her be strong but kind.  Stern but gentle.  A soft place and a pillar.

At that moment, with the music tinkling in the background and my mind running at full speed, my baby grinned up at me, exposing his one white bottom tooth.  It could not have been planned better.  I pulled him close and breathed in his scent of baby soap, lotion and a bit of banana.  I planted a wet kiss on his forehead (not his lips, he gets mad and starts hitting if you kiss him there).

"Mary, did you know that when you kiss your little baby, you've kissed the face of God?" sang Reba.  I was having one of those full-on "my cup runneth over" moments.  My other three kids were staring at me from the kitchen table as if I'd gone completely bonkers.  "You ok, Mom?"  Pipes asked.

Yes.  Yes I am doing awesome right now.  For that one second I got it.  I knew.  While this smiling baby, and those three kiddos drawing up a storm over there, are not the Great I Am, they are pretty special to this mommy.  After all, does Christ not say in the scriptures, "Whosoever shall receive one of such children in my name, receiveth me"?

Of course, the moment was soon over.  Wyatt wanted to get down to run over and push the bright green light (meaning he turns off the computer) and the little Picassos started fighting over who gets to use the skinny black marker (even though there are three other fat black markers in the marker jar).

But I had it.  And I thank Heavenly Father for the tender mercy He gave me tonight.  He helped me see that while right now raising these kids means a lot of diapers, laundry soap, muddy floors and toothpaste on the bathroom counter, some day these tiny people will grow into the glorious people that they are meant to be.  They will go out into this world and make it a better place (oh yes, they will be something to behold, let me tell you).



And I will get to witness it all.

Yep,

We have another golfer in the family.

Christmas Pics

One year, I swear, Orrin and I will actually be in the Christmas card pictures.  Just not this year.

Anywho, I called up my newest sister-in-law Stephanie and said, "Take our pictures tonight, woman!"  Well, maybe I wasn't that demanding, but I kind of felt like I was.

Luckily she agreed and we tried to wrangle these four kids together long enough to get some decent pictures.

She let me handle the editing, so I feel an apology and a warning is needed here.  Please do not judge her photography skills by my less than mediocre editing skills.  Seriously.

 

I used to think that getting a picture with three kids smiling and looking at the camera was difficult.  Four kids?  Holy hannah.

Luckily Stephanie brought a good attitude along with her cute props.

'Cause things sure got tough with Mr. Walking Wyatt.

Then she took some individual portraits.

Piper, Little-Miss-Photogenic herself, has suddenly become a little awkward in front of the camera and can't seem to remember how to smile her real smile.

Notice how it doesn't reach her eyes?

I actually liked these more serious ones of Adi.

I really needed Orrin there to make these kids do their real smiles and giggles.  I'm just not as funny as Daddy.

And then there was Mr. Why-Sit-Still-And-Smile-For-You-When-There's-All-This-Green-Grass-To-Explore?

 *sigh*  I don't have the patience to take this guy's pictures.  And that's why I coerced my other sister-in-law Hannah to take his one year pics next month.  I am so good.

These walking ones were probably the easiest ones to take since Wyatt was happy strolling along (until he fell).  At least, I thought they were the easiest.  Stephanie would probably tell a different story.

And, of course, the bum picture.  I always have to get one of these.

Of course I did not post the picture that gets the honor of making my Christmas cards (which I just ordered today, thank you very much).  You'll just have to wait until they're all sent out before you see that one.  I know you'll be waiting with bated breath...

What About Wyatt?

I actually pulled out my camera before school this morning (a miracle since we're usually pretty pressed for time).

Good morning Mr.  Wyatt

Can you tell how he's grabbing onto my legs?  This is how I've been spending most of my days lately.  You know, with a baby attached to me somewhere.

I went outside to take some pics of the kiddos on our tree swing (none of which turned out), and I turned around and saw this:

Mr.  Wyatt slamming on the glass door and yelling to be let out.

I thought it was adorable.  He thought it to be quite annoying that no one was helping him.

Poor boy spends a majority of his day at this door watching his siblings jump, ride and generally run a muck.

Ain't it cute?

Yes, Adison. There is.

I was doing Adi's hair for school a couple of days ago when she she asked me with her gigantic blue eyes staring at me, "Mom, is there really a Santa?"

I gulped.  "Why do you ask?"

"Because sometimes I think that it's you and Dad."

Oh, my dear little Adi.  She's always been the most excited for Christmas.  She writes Santa a letter nearly every night in December asking him about how is Christmas plans are going and how much she loves him.  Last year she even drew out and designed the Big Man, the Mrs. and a few of his favorite elves brand new ultra-deluxe bedrooms. 

And she expects answers back (yep, I do a lot of creative writing in December).

I am not ready for this.  To strip this upcoming holiday of all it's glitter and magic.  To have Adi see it as a commercial-driven, money-spending, list-of-wants and don't-really-needs day that it sometimes feels like to us adults who fund it.  I prefer the magic and the glitter.  I prefer the sweet little notes and the plate of cookies with a few carrots for the reindeer.  I prefer the innocence.

I know that her friends have already begun to tell her that she shouldn't believe and that it is impossible for one fat man to deliver gifts around the whole world in one night.  But Adi, with her ferociously loyal spirit, always defends and counter-argues.  He is real.  He is alive.  He is.

In the next few years there are some big changes coming Adi's way.  Soon enough this world will get through the little cracks in the fluffy bubble of innocence that I've kept her comfortably wrapped up in these past 8 years.  So much information and worldly "truths" will fill her head and she'll begin to see the worry and the anger and the hate that fills this earth. 

And I won't... no, I can't take it away from her now.  Not yet.  So I'm asking for one more year of magical celebration.  One more holiday of  true Santa poems, stories and songs.  Just another two months of Belief.  I promise that after this year has come to a close, the next time my oldest girl asks me if I am Santa Clause, I will tell her the truth. 

No.  Dad and I are not Santa.  We as parent's have the honor of filling old Kris Kringle's shoes once a year.  That we get to take the mission of a Bishop that lived so long ago and let it live on, and help it to make this world be wonderful and more loving this one time of the year.  I'll explain how parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents have all helped to spread the joy of giving and and sacrifice that is called Santa through generations. I will tell her that it is now her privilege to help carry this tradition forward.  It is her duty to make this holiday magical and mysterious for her younger siblings, cousins, friends and all of those who still Believe.  She is now part of the special few who take this job very seriously and that she must too.

But not yet.  Not this year.  Not this Christmas.

I know she'll forgive me for my personal indulgence some day in the future when she watches her own children's eyes light up on Christmas morning.

**Thank you Peggy for the inspiration on how to answer her!**

Frightfully Delightful

 It's that time of year again.  You know, party season?

Which means it's time for the kiddo's Halloween party.  Which seems to have turned into an annual thing (2010 and 2009).  So we'll call this the 3rd Annual Merrill Halloween Party.  Such an official title.

This year the kiddos just invited their school friends since I hadn't met a bunch of them (everyone lives in different neighborhoods).

First, a shout out to my sister- without who this party would have had a lot less decorations and treats.  Thank you Whitney.

Since we live in Arizona and it isn't cold in the fall here, we had the party outside.

I didn't want the kiddos walking through the house..

We sat up the grazing table by moving my kitchen table outside (hey Mom- I really need that folding table back).

For the snackages we had Frankenstein Bolts

(and you can see the Goblin Fingers in the background),

Zombie Tongues,

Petrified Bat Wings

And cake mix cookies (hey, not everything has to have a spooky name)

Totino's pizzas were the main course, but those disappeared before I could get a shot of the whole table.  I also planned on having witches fingers (celery sticks), troll eyes (green grapes), and more... but I honestly ran out of time before the kids got here to cut, wash and set them out.  So the little ones had a wonderfully-healthy-food-free night.  Sorry moms.

The drinks

I loved these mini soda cans.

I didn't have any extra tables to set up, so we just threw out some plastic tablecloths (with rocks weighing them down) and had the kids gather there.

Pipe's friends (seriously, these kids had so much pop, pizza and pixie sticks)

They kind of look like garbage bags just thrown down, right?

Porter only had one little friend to invite

But they had an awesome time together!

Yep that's a picture of him burping.  I captured a moment here, people.

Then came the games.

First was Ghosts and Goblins.

This was by far the best game I had.  Thank you Pinterest.

Next up was the Skeleton toss.

Ha.  My girls couldn't even tell that were supposed to be stacked-up pumpkins.  Here's what it was supposed to look like.  This reminds me of another goodie floating around Pinterest:

Ha!

Anyway, here's Miss Pips tossing in her plastic skeleton head

Then came the good ole traditional Pin-the-Eye-on-Frankenstein.

Then, another idea taken from my newest favorite addiction, was Catch the Monsters.

This game was fun, but there was one little problem with doing it on our dying summer grass:

Can you see the little girl in the background picking the grass out of her mouth?

And of course we had a sugar cookie decorating table (what party is complete without one?)

Adi and her amigas:

Oh, hi Jake and the Neverland Pirate!  Funny seeing you here...

Then the kiddos ate a ton of sugary goodies and drank gallons of soda.  They also did a lot of jumping on the trampoline (I still thank the day we bought that $200 gigantic kid entertainer).

The kiddos danced (oh, and Nana too)

And then the girlies spent over an hour perfecting their cheerleading skills

Thanks kiddos!

** I must mention how grateful I am to live in a climate where it is warm enough to party outside at Halloween.  This party was waaay more relaxed than when we had them inside in Utah **